Agnostics. Pah! In my book there are only two kinds of agnostics. There are those who are too afraid to admit they are atheists "just in case," and those who are fed up with Christianity but are too afraid to abandon it completely, "just in case." I don't believe in the "There is no way to know so I'll sit on the sideline" philosophy. As for the 'believers' who can't believe, but still don't disbelieve I say, "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." And for the non-believers who can't admit they don't believe publicly I say, "grow some balls."
I respect atheists who admit they are atheists and Christians who admit they are Christians, and have little respect for those who claim they sit on the fence. Call it the soldier in me but I think you have to be in the fight to be allowed to fight. You think that Christianity may possibly be true. Is that partially true or true altogether? Can there be such a thing as partial truth or do you have to throw it out all together and start anew? You were born an atheist and became a Christian and are now on the path to returning to how you began. It is my experience that those who are on this path fear what may be if they are wrong, they fear the possibility of an after-life. That is a fear you were not born with; it is a fear that was put into you. Tell me this. Can you remember what it was like before you were born? Of course you cannot. Your brain did not exist. After you die, your brain will not exist. Death will be the same for you as it was before you were born. There will be no regrets, no shame, no fear, and nothing that could even register that you were even alive. It is nearly impossible to imagine such a state of not being alive and aware because that is the only state you have known and it is a feeling that is hard to give up. That little voice inside your head, the voice of you thinking is a hard thing to imagine not doing. It is that very feeling that religion preys upon. Even if there was a heaven, what is your concept of heaven like? Your only source of information for heaven is the Bible and it is not very descriptive of it. Sure there are theories running around about what it is like. It is described as paradise, but paradise is different things to different people. There are many mansions, but what would you need a roof over your head for? It is better to cut out your eye and enter heaven with only one eye? What would you need a physical eyeball for? If you had an eye, would you still have an appendix which is as useless in life as it would be in the afterlife? Would you lounge around for all eternity doing absolutely nothing? Would you play golf? Swim on a beach perhaps? And when you have spent half of eternity doing everything you have ever wanted to do, seeing things you have always wanted to see, having sex with all the virgins you could ever possibly want, what then for the other half of eternity? Remember that eternity is a pretty long time!
Maybe we should look to the Revelations in the Bible to see what you are going to do for all eternity. What's this? All you get to do is kneel down before god and sing his praises for all eternity? And you only get to sing one song? Hell is looked at by many scholars, historians and the like and the Bible, itself, quite thoroughly spells out some sort of strange place that Christians refer to as hell, but heaven is quite neglected. The preacherman talks of hell and punishment much more frequently than heaven and paradise. Some, who post comments on this blog, cannot seem to refer to anything but hell and punishment. Why do you suppose that is? Why does the punishment get more attention than the salvation? I think you are smart enough to figure out the truth of that on your own.
Sometimes, we can point people in the direction of our own truths but I'll be damned if I'm going to lead anyone to my own like some sheep to a watering hole. That is no better than evangelism. It's impossible to do! We can raise questions that cause reflection, introspection, and inspection in someone searching for the their own truth but convincing someone of our own truths requires the seeker to be open wider than they should be. You can only find your own truths. Don't be a sheep.